If you are putting yourself before others, then when do you get to go first?
This is such a huge part of the work that I do, because for someone to take that step to start coaching with me, it means that deep down they are ready to be first. This is such an exciting moment. It means that finally, you have a chance at the life you have always wanted.
On some level, we let others go before us because that’s what we’ve always done. Yet, there is often a quiet feeling, asking, ‘what about me?’
We can continue to go about our life in the same way, always asking that question and hoping that it will be answered. But how can we do the same thing, day in day out, and expect a different result? Putting others before yourself is a cycle that can only ever repeat itself, even if part of that cycle is a wish that things were different.
Perhaps, by letting someone slip in line before you gives the kind of attention, or gratitude, that feels like food for the soul. But if this nourishment was enough, then you would be living a life of pure contentment.
If you find yourself asking, ‘what about me?’ then it means that you are beginning to get an inkling of another version of the story of your life: the one where you get to fulfil your destiny.
It might be that for a while, you try harder, but unless you find a way to step free of this cycle, you will only spin faster and ground yourself in deeper. You will continue to let people in line, and yet feel even more frustrated about your acts of good will.
Unless your ideas about yourself shift and you start to think of yourself as worthy, then the story of putting others before yourself will seem like the only option.
What is it like to say, ‘I’m worthy of first place’?
Maybe it feels powerful.
Maybe it feels too powerful.
This is a journey I love to guide people on: an artist, preparing for their first exhibition, say. Do they want to continue to let other people go before them? Not anymore. So, we look at what their career might be like beyond their current story, and how they can transcend this well-worn cycle to the point where their name is in lights.
Just because it’s life, doesn’t mean we should know how to do it perfectly. When you come to want more, that’s where I can help, and we can take steps as big or as small as you want.
Perhaps, ‘I’m learning to believe I’m worthy.’ Or, ‘one day, I will know my true worth.’
There is a path for you. I can help you find it.