Hey, don’t be such a victim! No, but seriously, get empowered. Find your strength, like now. Be in control.
Okay, there’s no doubting this is all great advice. I do wonder, if it is so great, then how come it hasn’t become redundant, because we’re all walking around like a powerhouse, karate chopping every dud situation that comes our way?
A beautiful conversation with Chris Power yesterday gave me a new perspective on this. We were talking about a free Creative Coaching event I’m hosting with Chris where we’ll be looking at The Inner Critic. Chris discussed the voice in his head, which is quick to tell him he’s not there yet when writing, whilst at the same time withholding the necessary way to get ‘there’. Chris is admirably articulate about the writing process and this insight is powerful as it details a frustrating dynamic that a lot of the artists I work with face.
So, this voice – the one that says, after a morning of hard work, “um, sorry, but you know you’re not ‘there’ yet, right?” – where’s it coming from? Is there a speaker in the corner of the room, that blares out this stuff? What about that feeling? The uncomfortable, slightly torn in half, guts on the floor feeling that, despite the level of exposure you’ve dropped down to, you still haven’t managed to reach the core of what you are trying to express. Where is this feeling? Is it hovering a meter above the ground on the other side of the road?
And, when you imagine your life, falling to pieces, where does that play out? On an art-house cinema screen in a city 200 miles away?
When I stopped dabbling in personal and professional development and trained in the art of creating the life I wanted, the hardest truth I came up against was that it was all me. Me? No! I wanted it to be everyone else’s fault. It was much easier going around saying, “yeah, well, I could have really been something, it’s just there was this voice, or this feeling, or this vision of my life that just came at me all the time, and well, what can you do, right?”
Here’s what you can do: don’t be such a victim.
I can say this because I know all about it. That daily discovery of obstacles in my mind, which feels like finding a cobweb after years of meticulous cleaning. What? How is this still here! (And then I remind myself that it’s these very discoveries that make me great at what I do, because I know all about it.)
Getting empowered doesn’t mean you have to levitate every time you come across dog turd on the pavement. It means, walking around it.
When you allow yourself to access the strength within, you realise that accepting voices and feelings and visions of failure is the equivalent of stepping in dog shit every day because you thought that was your only option.
That’s why I call it Creative Coaching, because learning how to do it differently is an art.